How Cannabis Made Me a Better Mother

This Founder’s Story About Cannabis, Motherhood, and Building a Budding Business

I’m entering one of the most reflective seasons of my life. Any day now, I will become a grandmother for the first time. Even writing that feels surreal.

I’m a mother of two. My daughter is 32 and my son is 30, but now I’m stepping into a new role. A new identity. A new chapter. When people ask what the baby will call me, I don’t hesitate: Nonna. There’s something deeply meaningful in that word — a spirit of nurturing, presence, tradition, and love. As I prepare to welcome a new life into our family, I find myself reflecting on my own journey through motherhood, and one truth stands out:

Cannabis didn’t take me away from motherhood — it helped me stay present for it.

The Beginning: Chaos and Calibration

I started consuming cannabis at 14. Like many teenagers, it was about rebellion, curiosity, and freedom. I pushed boundaries. I experimented. I lived a chapter that could have taken me down a very different path. But cannabis was never the thing that pulled me under.

Looking back, I can see it clearly now: Cannabis wasn’t the chaos; it was the regulator within it.

Through life’s transitions—daily stress, seasonal changes, major decisions—cannabis became something that helped me recalibrate. It became part of how I processed and moved forward.

By 19, I had found my way back to college, to purpose, and to building something of myself. As I evolved—from student to creative, to entrepreneur, to wife, and eventually to mother—cannabis remained a quiet, consistent support system.

Motherhood, Pregnancy, and Changing Narratives

When I became pregnant, I stopped consuming cannabis. At the time, the messaging was clear, nothing is safe during pregnancy. So I followed the rules and stayed mostly abstinent, except for rare moments when nausea was overwhelming and I leaned on what I knew worked for my body.

It’s fascinating how perspectives change across generations. My mother drank martinis, smoked cigarettes, and didn’t breastfeed me. At the time, formula was believed to be the better option. She truly thought she was doing the right thing. Motherhood is always evolving.

I had an emergency C-section after carrying an 11-pound, 3½-ounce baby girl. Yes, I even made the news! People came to the hospital just to see “the giant baby.” And just like that, everything changed.

Cannabis, Postpartum, and Staying Present

Postpartum is one of the most intense transitions a woman can experience, but research and guidance around cannabis use during this time is still developing. As such, I can only speak from my own experience, but… Cannabis was a lifeline.

It helped regulate my mood.

It helped me stay present.

It helped me move through fear.

Because the truth is, you don’t fully understand fear until you become a parent. This wasn’t about excess or escape, it was about intention.Small, mindful moments, microdoses that allowed me to reset and return to myself. Not to check out, but to show up more fully.

Motherhood isn’t something you can think your way through, it’s something you live through. The sleepless nights. The unexpected injuries. The emotional ups and downs. Children feel everything deeply. They don’t understand context, they experience emotion in real time – fully and completely. And that emotional responsibility doesn’t end when they grow up.

Even now, with my children in their 30s, I feel it. Every call, every text; it all matters. That’s motherhood. And regulation is everything.

Stress, Survival, and the Birth of an Idea

As my children grew, life became more complicated. I went through a divorce. I experienced major business loss following the September 11 attacks. The pressure was immense.

Every morning, I would smile at school drop-off and then cry on the drive home. Cannabis helped me regroup. Not escape. Regroup.

One or two small, intentional hits, and I could think again. Create again. Solve problems again. It was in those moments that the earliest seeds of My Bud Vase were planted.

The Stigma Problem

The routine became simple:

• Drop the kids off.
• Come home.
• Regulate.
• Go build your life.

But reality wasn’t always so simple. Meetings ran long. Days stretched. And suddenly I’d realize I left my cannabis out in the open. Panic. The calling-neighbors-to-hide-it-before-my-kids-got-home kind of panic.

Think about that contrast: In the morning, cannabis helped me hold my life together, by the afternoon, I was afraid of being judged for it. That disconnect revealed a deeper problem and I knew there had to be a better way.

By the time my children became teenagers, I made a conscious decision: I wasn’t going to parent through fear.

Teenagers are naturally curious. They explore. They test boundaries. We all did. Shutting that down doesn’t eliminate curiosity, it pushes it underground. So I chose something different: Honest conversations, education, awareness.

I created a space where my children and their friends felt safe asking questions. Because when kids feel safe, they make better choices. And then, suddenly, they were adults.

Full Circle: From Hiding to Creating

The house got quiet. For the first time in years, I had space to reconnect with myself, my creativity, my identity, my passions. Cannabis returned, not as something I needed to get through motherhood, but as something I could simply enjoy. Until one day, there was a knock on my door…

In that moment, 18 years of conditioning came rushing back. Fear. Panic. Instinct.

I hid my bong—this time among my vases. And then I stopped. I looked at what I had just done and I knew: I have to fix this.

That moment became the beginning of My Bud Vase—a way to bring beauty, discretion, and intention into a space that had been defined by stigma and secrecy.

Maybe the conversation should never have been about whether mothers should consume cannabis, but about how we support them if and when they do. Because for me, cannabis wasn’t about escaping motherhood, it was about staying present for it.

And now, as I step into becoming a Nonna, I carry that same truth with me: Presence over perfection. Always.